Medium: Movie
Runtime: 1hr, 28 Minutes
Genre: Sci-Fi/Comedy
Rating: PG-13
Far be it from me to take a leak on those watching movies far too old for them. By the time I was six years old, after all, I was already being raised on a healthy diet of rubber-suit Godzilla, old black-and-white monster movies, the occasional spot of Ren and Stimpy, and some of the finest Disney animation to ever come out (before a new CEO took over and decided it should be all sequels, all the time). This is not about six-year-old me, though it very much could be if I went back to revisit The Black Hole (which I very well may). No, we're talking ten-year-old me, who knew something was off with Men in Black 2 but couldn't quite put their finger on it.
I have no problem with kids watching mature stuff, because as a small child I watched the ultra-gory most-definitely-rated-R Robocop- which features a scene in which a guy gets melted when a barrel full of toxic waste falls on him- and I managed to turn out okay. No, the problem I have is with how, when such movies find a younger audience than intended, the studio craps everything up by toning things down and adding kid-appeal-characters into the next movie. This, naturally, pisses all over everything that made the original stand so strongly. And kids notice, movie studios! Ohhhh, we noticed. We may not have known why it sucked, but rest assured- we knew it sucked.
With that excessively-long prologue out of the way, let's talk about Men in Black 2.
The movie begins more or less where its predecessor ended, featuring Agent J working with a new partner who... doesn't seem to be working out. At the same time, evil alien Serleena shows up on Earth to look for something that was hidden there a long time ago, meets up with one (or two) of her old cronies, and proceeds to kill their first lead after interrogating him- leaving a pretty female witness to the alien-on-alien murder.
With J having memory-wiped his (newest) partner for being flipping useless, Frank the Pug tags along because apparently he joined the Men in Black sometime after the first movie, and here's where the problems start.
See, Frank was a bit character in the original, an alien disguised as a dog who acted as an MIB informant and spoke like a gruff seen-it-all New Yorker. Here, he's... the comic relief, because apparently Will Smith didn't bring enough funny to the movie on his own.
I digress.
After interrogating the witness (and failing to wipe her memory, as she reminds J of himself pre-MIB), he and Frank drive out to where Serleena parked her spaceship and discovers that the only person who knows what really happened to the McGuffin that Serleena is looking for is... Agent K. Who had his memory wiped at the end of the first movie, and is now working in a post office.
...Whoops.
J brings K back to MIB headquarters to restore his memory, and the two set out chasing breadcrumbs that K left himself in case that whole "Light of Zartha" thing ever came up again. Thankfully, the film takes this opportunity to end his tenure as sidekick, as the proper duo is now back together and butting heads with each other as to who should lead.
So here's the thing: I don't completely hate MIB2, but I will say that it is undisputably the weakest entry in the series. The film would have been much better serviced by leaving out the comic bit characters from the first (the Worms and Frank) and not trying so hard to appeal to a younger audience with immature jokes ("K! He's a ballchin-ian!"). Partway through, Serleena frees (presumably all) of the criminals in the MIB's custody when she takes over the headquarters and yet we see only a handful of them. They show up again for one fight scene, and are never heard from again. There are serious, glaring issues with the script.
That said, it's still mostly an enjoyable experience. The banter between K and J is still funny. The gadgets and guns are still cool, and the alien designs are still creative (except for one walking puerile gag...). The climax does seem like it drags on too long (how many times can we fail to kill our villain, guys?), but other than that it's not a bad little popcorn flick. It's a shame that they let the marketing team have a say in what went into the movie, because if not for that then we would have had a direct sequel that was on par- or better, even- than its predecessor. And that is a rare, rare gift.
TL;DR: Dammit Hollywood, this is an example of why the marketing team should keep their filthy mitts off a project. When the movie is allowed to be itself it's great, but it often stumbles over itself because some focus group somewhere had an 'idea'.
VIRTUES: Aesthetic design, maintains a lot of the feel of the original, legitimately entertaining when it's not attempting to pander.
SINS: The movie attempts to pander way too often, CG held up poorly, painfully obvious product placement, unremarkable villain.
SCORE: 6/10
Final Verdict: This one goes to the pile. I like it, but not nearly enough to have a hard copy.
Runtime: 1hr, 28 Minutes
Genre: Sci-Fi/Comedy
Rating: PG-13
Far be it from me to take a leak on those watching movies far too old for them. By the time I was six years old, after all, I was already being raised on a healthy diet of rubber-suit Godzilla, old black-and-white monster movies, the occasional spot of Ren and Stimpy, and some of the finest Disney animation to ever come out (before a new CEO took over and decided it should be all sequels, all the time). This is not about six-year-old me, though it very much could be if I went back to revisit The Black Hole (which I very well may). No, we're talking ten-year-old me, who knew something was off with Men in Black 2 but couldn't quite put their finger on it.
I have no problem with kids watching mature stuff, because as a small child I watched the ultra-gory most-definitely-rated-R Robocop- which features a scene in which a guy gets melted when a barrel full of toxic waste falls on him- and I managed to turn out okay. No, the problem I have is with how, when such movies find a younger audience than intended, the studio craps everything up by toning things down and adding kid-appeal-characters into the next movie. This, naturally, pisses all over everything that made the original stand so strongly. And kids notice, movie studios! Ohhhh, we noticed. We may not have known why it sucked, but rest assured- we knew it sucked.
With that excessively-long prologue out of the way, let's talk about Men in Black 2.
 |
With J having memory-wiped his (newest) partner for being flipping useless, Frank the Pug tags along because apparently he joined the Men in Black sometime after the first movie, and here's where the problems start.
See, Frank was a bit character in the original, an alien disguised as a dog who acted as an MIB informant and spoke like a gruff seen-it-all New Yorker. Here, he's... the comic relief, because apparently Will Smith didn't bring enough funny to the movie on his own.
 |
| Pictured: Frank the Pug. |
After interrogating the witness (and failing to wipe her memory, as she reminds J of himself pre-MIB), he and Frank drive out to where Serleena parked her spaceship and discovers that the only person who knows what really happened to the McGuffin that Serleena is looking for is... Agent K. Who had his memory wiped at the end of the first movie, and is now working in a post office.
...Whoops.
J brings K back to MIB headquarters to restore his memory, and the two set out chasing breadcrumbs that K left himself in case that whole "Light of Zartha" thing ever came up again. Thankfully, the film takes this opportunity to end his tenure as sidekick, as the proper duo is now back together and butting heads with each other as to who should lead.
So here's the thing: I don't completely hate MIB2, but I will say that it is undisputably the weakest entry in the series. The film would have been much better serviced by leaving out the comic bit characters from the first (the Worms and Frank) and not trying so hard to appeal to a younger audience with immature jokes ("K! He's a ballchin-ian!"). Partway through, Serleena frees (presumably all) of the criminals in the MIB's custody when she takes over the headquarters and yet we see only a handful of them. They show up again for one fight scene, and are never heard from again. There are serious, glaring issues with the script.
That said, it's still mostly an enjoyable experience. The banter between K and J is still funny. The gadgets and guns are still cool, and the alien designs are still creative (except for one walking puerile gag...). The climax does seem like it drags on too long (how many times can we fail to kill our villain, guys?), but other than that it's not a bad little popcorn flick. It's a shame that they let the marketing team have a say in what went into the movie, because if not for that then we would have had a direct sequel that was on par- or better, even- than its predecessor. And that is a rare, rare gift.
TL;DR: Dammit Hollywood, this is an example of why the marketing team should keep their filthy mitts off a project. When the movie is allowed to be itself it's great, but it often stumbles over itself because some focus group somewhere had an 'idea'.
VIRTUES: Aesthetic design, maintains a lot of the feel of the original, legitimately entertaining when it's not attempting to pander.
SINS: The movie attempts to pander way too often, CG held up poorly, painfully obvious product placement, unremarkable villain.
SCORE: 6/10
Final Verdict: This one goes to the pile. I like it, but not nearly enough to have a hard copy.
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